Matthew 18:21-22, Luke 23:34, Colossians 3:12-13 ||Today’s Scripture points to a quiet, powerful truth—so profound if we were to embrace it, our lives would be utterly transformed. Paul instructs us to forgive one another, “just as the Lord has forgiven you.” How has the Lord forgiven us? Jesus modeled this forgiveness on the cross in the book of Luke when he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” In the midst of his suffering, Jesus looked down at his executioners—and forgave them. Like that. That is what it might look like to forgive others as the Lord has forgiven us. But that’s not the end of the answer. In Matthew 18, Jesus tells Peter (and us) to forgive those who sin against us “not just seven times, but seventy-seven times.” We are challenged to forgive with the same astounding mercy and profound patience we have received from God. That gives me pause to consider how I often forgive. I pray the weight of this invitation gives you pause for reflection as well.

Prayer: God of infinite mercy and grace, Make me more like your Son, Jesus. Grant me the grace to extend mercy when I would seek revenge, To forgive when I would rather hold a grudge, And to release those who sin against me as freely and fully as You do. Grant me the patience to forgive as often as I am offended, To extend forgiveness not just seven, but seventy-seven times, And—by Your grace alone—To even forgive my repeat offenders seventy times seven. Help me to desire this kind of forgiveness. I ask this in Your powerful name: Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer. Amen.

Matthew 18:21-35 || Some rabbis in Jesus’ day said forgiving a sin three times was enough. That’s likely why Peter thought forgiving seven times was huge. But Jesus’ story said God, not us, sets the forgiveness standard. The debt the servant in the story owed was a whopper, equivalent to 60 million days’ wages (about 170,000 years of work)! Yet the king (i.e., God) forgave even a man who owed “a gazillion dollars.” Then the freed debtor refused to forgive someone with a much smaller debt. A pastor wrote, “More than any other world religion, Christianity veritably shouts forgiveness. Yes, some of our preachers dwell too long on guilt, a Christianity obsessed with guilt is no Christianity. Christianity is a faith whose central focus is not guilt, but grace, redemption, healing, forgiveness, and mercy.” In what ways has God’s forgiveness set you free? How can practicing “healing, forgiveness and mercy” sustain and deepen your closest relationships? “At the heart of Judaism & Christianity lies the belief that, though human actions matter very deeply, forgiveness is possible and, through God’s love, can become actual. Jesus assumes that we will need to ask for forgiveness not on one or two rare occasions but very regularly. There is, however, a condition. We ourselves must be forgiving people. The heart that will not open to forgive others will remain closed when God’s own forgiveness is offered.” How did Jesus’ story show that he expanded “forgiveness” way beyond “natural” expectations?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, have mercy on me. And even as I ask for your mercy, which I need every day, help me be merciful to those who wrong me, so that they and I may be free. Amen.

Isaiah 55:1-9 || When we begin thinking about the process of forgiving in families (and all human relationships), it’s easy to see it as simply a “mind game.” But forgiveness is much more than just a sociological way for people to get along. The prophet we’d call “second” Isaiah suggested that it is not “natural” at all. The prophet’s thinking began with God, not humans. Our God, he said, is “generous with forgiveness,” which makes God’s ways and plans “higher” than ours. Theologian and psychologist Lewis Smedes wrote, “Forgiveness is God’s invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love’s power to break nature’s rule.” How does God’s role in “inventing” forgiveness make clear that forgiveness is ultimately “supernatural”? So, forgiveness takes faith. “We want to decide what is right and wrong for ourselves. Neither do we wish to be told that something is good for us when it looks as though it is going to take a lot of effort and may bring us some pain. We want to have God serve us, supplying our needs as we dictate. Faith always involves letting go of secure footholds and (apparent) certainties to do things God’s way.” What makes faith that God knows best vital as we wrestle with forgiveness?

Prayer: O Jesus, I’m not God, but you can shape me to be more and more like you. I offer my life to your re-shaping hand, because in the end your forgiving way of life is the best way to live. Amen.

Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-32 || “Be angry without sinning” might feel a little vague for real life (“How do I do that?”), so Ephesians added timeless wisdom (equally helpful in family and political tensions): “Don’t let the sun set on your anger.” Your words can hurt or heal, and you get to choose which words you speak. Since we are not likely to always get the words just right, the passage reminded readers of God’s model of forgiveness: “Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving to each other, in the same way God forgave you in Christ.” “Anger is natural in communities because people hurt each other in various ways. But when this happens, Paul wants them to deal with it right away so that no one sins against another by feeding on that anger and doing further damage.” Family is a small, intimate community. A nation is a large, diverse community. But in either case unchecked anger is a destructive force that builds barriers to insight to working together. How can you not allow the “sun to set” on your anger? Scholar N. T. Wright wrote, “People enslaved to anger and malice may think they are ‘free’ to ‘be themselves’, but they're in bondage. If we are marked out by the spirit’s personal presence living in us, think how sad it makes that spirit if we behave in ways which don’t reflect the life and love of God.” Before firing off angry words (in person or electronically), are you willing to ask, “Does this give grace? Does it build up? Can I picture Jesus saying this?”

Prayer: Loving Jesus, help me to speak and live so that words like “peace,” “unity,” “humility” and “love” will be the main qualities I show others, especially those closest to me. Amen.

Ephesians 5:18-31 || Too often, families need forgiveness because men and women have isolated verse 22 without reading the whole passage. It used a common Greco/Roman way of discussing family relations called a “Household Code.” But Christian adaptations strikingly shifted its message. Scholar N. T. Wright wrote, “Paul insists that the husband should take as his role model, not the typical bossy or bullying male of the modern, or indeed the ancient, stereotype, but Jesus himself.” Ephesians 5:21 said, “Submit to each other out of respect for Christ.” “Paul here goes beyond traditional expectations to call for mutual submission (general Christian servanthood to one another in Mark 10:42–45; John 13:14–15; Galatians 5:13). This places Paul among the small proportion of ancient thinkers who valued mutual concern and sensitivity, although specifying the wife’s submission in v. 22, he grounds it grammatically in the mutual submission of v. 21.” Paul used a familiar form in his culture to convey Jesus’ values. How can you do the same in our culture? Another pastor wrote, “There are certain practices that seem to help me become more loving. I feel closest to God when I pray, worship, and study Scripture, and when I am do these things I’m also a better husband.” What helps you move practices like those from “I don’t have time for this religious stuff” to “these allow God to make me more loving toward those I care about most”?

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you walked among us as genuine love incarnate. Let your love be a robust force, making every life I touch better, not just the sentimentalism culture often confuses with love. Amen.

1 John 1:7 - 2:2 || Willingness to forgive is vital in relationships, but so (crucially) is a willingness to honestly face your own failures and to seek forgiveness. You cannot accept even God’s forgiveness and power to live more like Jesus, and certainly not ask another person to forgive you, if you stubbornly deny that what you have done needs forgiveness. Honesty and an awareness of the need for forgiveness begins inside you before it shows itself to others. John knew we are all too good at fooling ourselves: “If we claim, ‘We do not have any sin,’ we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Are you ignoring any God-given inner convictions that you need to face some issue honestly? If so, talk seriously with God about it. When have you honestly faced a flaw or struggle, and found that it opened you to the freedom John described: “He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from everything we’ve done wrong”? Six key words for good relationships: “’I am sorry’ and ‘I forgive you.’” Sound simple? C. S. Lewis learned that it is not: “I find that when I think I am asking God to forgive me, I am asking Him not to forgive me but to excuse me. Real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin that is left without any excuse, after all allowances.” How have you learned to recognize the difference between offering excuses and asking for (or giving) true, healing forgiveness?

Prayer: Lord God, help me clearly see the times when I am wrong. Help me be honest with myself and with you. Thank you for offering me your grace and transformation at those times. Amen.

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:1-10 || Download